An Improbable (and fictitious) Story!

I leave for Hutchinson Kansas tomorrow very early in the morning so here is a “light-hearted” story I read some time ago and which you may have heard. Not much time to prepare something more than this!

“One Sunday a missionary had to walk thru dense forest to get to a village church. He had a Bible in one hand and a 30.06 rifle over his shoulder. As he walked, he heard a continuous noise behind him like something was following but couldn’t see what it was.

In the middle of forest there was a small narrow clearing. He stopped on the other side of the clearing to see what may be following him. A lion emerged from the shadows. It crouched, saw him and suddenly sprang. Quickly he dropped his Bible, shouldered the rifle and got in some quick pot shots. With its mighty jump it ended up going way over him into the bush on the other side of the clearing. He missed his shots but the sound startled the lion so much it ran away into the forest.

After church he went home, back through the forest, but with no problem. Next day, though, he decided he should practice some snap pot-shots – just to make sure he was ready for the next time. He went into the bushes behind the mission station and tried to sharpen up. Bang! Bang! Bang!

Pausing between periods of shooting (to reload), he kept hearing something in thickets. It sounded like something was jumping. He peered through the bushes and guess what he saw?

It was the lion. It turned out it was practicing short jumps!”

Had to put in that “fable” in to lighten things up! Doesn’t match, though, the truth of my muddy road encounter in Masaai Mara in Kenya with a charging elephant and, as I reached for the 4-wheel drive lever in my Land Rover the kids yelled, “Turn it on, Dad. Turn it on”. We managed to get the Land Rover turned around and scooted down the road to safety – but we had to go back down that same road to get home. We were glad the elephants had decided to move on by then.

There was the time I had gone hunting. The pick-up back of my Land Rover was filled with African hangers-on, hoping for a share of meat from whatever I got. After a long period of time I was able to get a Wart Hog. We loaded it in the back of the vehicle and took off, hoping to get a Topi also.

Suddenly I heard a commotion in the back of the vehicle. Even when moving, some of the folks were jumping out, ignoring the danger of such an action. Quickly I stopped.

What happened is that the death reflexes of the Wart Hog had caused it to kick its legs. The Africans, fearing that it was coming back alive, and that those long tusks could cause havoc, bailed out to avoid danger. My, what a laugh we had when they all got back to the vehicle, seeing there was no problem.

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